The importance of intentional together time

In the rapid pace of today’s world, time is a precious commodity, and the moments we choose to spend with loved ones become a powerful currency of connection. Intentional together time goes beyond the incidental coexistence in the same space—it’s about actively carving out moments to focus on each other, undistracted and present. This intentional investment in shared time can fortify relationships against the erosive effects of daily routines and external pressures.

Cultivating Connection Through Intentionality

The term ‘intentional’ signifies purpose and deliberation—the antithesis of happenstance. Intentional together time is about making a conscious decision to connect with your partner, family, or friends. It involves setting aside specific periods where the primary goal is to engage with one another meaningfully, be it through conversation, shared activities, or even quiet companionship.

The Distinction from Quality Time

While quality time is often used interchangeably with intentional together time, there’s a nuanced difference. Quality time can sometimes become a benchmark for measuring the value of interactions, which can create pressure and diminish authenticity. Intentional time, on the other hand, is less about high-quality engagement every instance and more about the decision to be present and open to the experience, regardless of the outcome.

The Benefits of Intentional Together Time

Deepened Relationships: Scheduled, intentional time allows for deeper conversations and more meaningful interactions, which can strengthen emotional bonds.

Improved Communication: Taking regular time to talk and listen to each other can improve understanding and prevent misunderstandings that often arise from busy, distracted lives.

Stress Reduction: Intentional together time often serves as a break from the stresses of daily life, allowing partners and families to relax and recharge.

Increased Happiness: Sharing joys and interests can boost happiness and overall satisfaction with the relationship.

Development of Shared Memories: Intentional time often leads to experiences and moments that become cherished shared memories, reinforcing the relationship’s foundation.

Overcoming Barriers to Intentional Together Time

Modern life is riddled with distractions and obligations that can make carving out intentional time a challenge. Here are strategies to overcome these barriers:

Scheduling Together Time: Treat it with the same importance as a work meeting or doctor’s appointment—it’s non-negotiable.

Embracing Technology-Free Zones: Create times and spaces where technology is set aside to minimize distractions and foster face-to-face interaction.

Being Flexible with Formats: Intentional time doesn’t have to be elaborate; even simple activities like walking the dog together or cooking a meal can serve the purpose.

Encouraging Individual Interests: Sometimes, together time involves supporting each other’s interests, even if they’re not shared. Showing interest in your partner’s hobbies can be a form of connection.

Utilizing Childcare Resources: For families, it can be crucial to find trustworthy childcare options to allow parents to focus on each other.

Intentional Together Time in Various Relationship Stages

Intentional together time plays a different role at different stages of a relationship:

Dating/Early Relationship: It helps build a foundation of shared experiences and understanding.

Long-Term Relationships/Marriage: It maintains connection and romance amid life’s changing circumstances.

Parenting: It ensures that the couple’s relationship is nurtured, not overshadowed by the demands of childcare.

Friendships: It sustains the relationship’s vitality and ensures friends don’t drift apart due to lack of interaction.

Activities That Foster Intentionality

The activities chosen for together time should reflect the interests and needs of those involved. Ideas can range from outdoor adventures, cultural outings, home projects, to personal development activities like attending workshops or seminars together.


Intentional together time is about making a choice—a choice to prioritize relationships in a busy world. It’s a deliberate pause in the rush of life to reconnect with those who matter most. Through this focused engagement, relationships can thrive, offering a safe haven of support, love, and mutual growth. Whether it’s a planned date night, a family game evening, or a heart-to-heart talk with a friend, these moments hold the power to enrich our lives and deepen our bonds. Intentional together time is not just a nicety; it’s a necessity, and its consistent practice can be one of the most rewarding investments in the landscape of our relationships.